Trek Wars
by Oriana
Summary: *coughcough* Rather...odd... Star Wars parody. I was watching the Emprire Strikes Back, and I just couldn't help meself!


Trek Wars

by Oriana

Deiscalimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, George Lucas owns Star Wars, I OWN THE STORY!!!

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For my friendz, who I know will be confused about who is who...

Captain Janeway: Yoda

Chakotay: Darth Vader

Tuvok: Lando Calrissian

Tom Paris: Han Solo

B'Elanna Torres: Princess Leia Organa

Harry Kim: Luke Skywalker

The Doctor: Obi'Wan Kenobi's ghost

Q: Emperor Palpatine

Neelix and Seven of Nine: Were on the first death star when it exploded!!! :)

(I DID skip SWANH. That one just didn't do much for me and 2 much of the action tok place in outer space, Even now I sliced out the beginning sequence of SWTESB. I WILL have a sequel which will be a lil' fun w/ SWROTJ.)

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Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres sat numbly in front of Tom's newly aquired Television set.

"Tommmm.....B'Elanna moaned, "This is the third time in a row you wanted to watch Star Wars. My brain is going numb, and so is my rear end!!!"

"How can you be bored? the movies aren't the same, it's a trilogy!!! And Star Wars is the greatest Trilogy of all time!!!"

"Yeah, if you're 14 years old," B'Elanna muttered under her breath. "Oh, wait a second, it must be even _more _interseting to you then, you have the mind of an _eight year old._"

"Huh? Be, did you say something?"

She shook her head in exasperation and ruffled his hair. "No, it wasn't important. Keep watching the movie..." It just figured that this was one of the things she loved about him...

Long into the night and straight on till morning, in each of the senior staff's quarters, the Star Wars trilogy was projected onto the viewscreens...

*******

The next day

*******

Harry Kim raced onto the bridge in a grey jumpsuit. "Haaaaaan!!! Leeeiiiiaaaa!!! Noooo! Captain Yoda, they're in trouble! I have to go to them."

"Save your friends you might, but destroy all that you fight for, you will." 

Kathryn Janeway advised sagely, pounding her newfound gimmer stick on the arm of her chair. 

"I have to go to them!!! I'll return to finish my traing, I promise!!!"

"If go you must, then I canot stop you. But unaware of the danger ahead of you, you are."

"I'm ready to face the trials."

"Then go."

Harry jumped in the turbolift with a salute. "Hang on! I'm coming!!!"

As soon as he left, the doctor shimmerd into existence. "That boy was our last hope..." He mused sadly, shaking his head.

Kathryn lifted her head and stared out at the viewscreen. "No," She said softly, confidently. "There is another."

*******

On the Delta Flyer

*******

"Hey, your worship, I'm only trying to help!!!" Tom protested.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that," She snapped back at him.

"Fine...B'Elanna."

"You know, you make it so difficult sometimes."

"I do, I know, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it,sometimes you think I'm allright..."

"Sometimes..." B'Elanna conceded. "When you aren't being a scoundrel."

"A scoundrel? I like the sound of that..." Tom took her hands in his and began to gently massage them.

"My hands are dirty!!!" She protested quietly, but did not make any move to remove them, instead gazing up inot his eyes.

"My hands are dirty too," He murmured huskily, adding after a moment, "You're trembling."

"You're imaging things," She whispered, as Tom slowly moved in for the kill. 

"I think it's because I'm a scoundrel. You don't have enough scoundrels in your life."

"I happen to like nice men."

"I can be a nice man..."

Their lips met and matched perfectly, and I must add that this scence differs from the origianl....they were'nt interrupted by Threepio...

******

some time later

******

"We're approaching cloud city," Tom announced as B'Elanna came up behind him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Let's hope this Lando guy has forgiven you for beating him in the beting pools," She muttered under her breath.

"Lando and I go way back. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to see me..."

The _MILLENIUM VULCAN _lands...

Tom and B'Elanna descended inot the cargo bay, Tom confidently, and B'Elanna nervously. "You're sure about this Lando, right?" She asked, nodding to the armed security detailheading toward them, Tuvok in the rear. One of the security people nodded towards them and Tuvok walked ahead, frownign profusely.

"Lando, old buddy, old pal!!!" Tom called, holding out his arms.

"Charmed, i'm sure..." Tuvok replied dryly. He nodded to Chakotay who was approaching from the corridor. "I'm sorry, they arrived just before you did."

Tom gasped and pulled out his phaser, firing at Chakotay, who reached up and blocked it with a tiny little pertable force field he held in his hand. He then launched a sticky hand at Tom and dragged his phaser away from him as he and B'Elanna were surrounded by the security detail, and hauled away to Voyager's brig...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Aaaaaaaaaah!!! Arrrrrrrrgh!!! AAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!"

B'Elanna winced as she heard Tom screaming in the next holding cell. Suddenly, the door opened and Tom was thrown into the cell she occupied.

"I feel terrible," he managed as he collapsed on the floor.

B'Elanna rushed to his side and helped him stumble to the small cot in the corner. 'Why are they doing this?" She murmured, kneeling beside him and resting her forehead on his own.

"They never even asked me any questions..." Tom mumbled, his eyes threatening to close as he drifted towards unconsciousness.

At that moment, Tuvok walked in.

"Lando..." B'Elanna growled under her breath.

"Get Outta here, Lando." Tom growled as well, struggling to sit up.

"Shut up and listen! Now, Vaders agreed to turn Leia and Chewie over to me."

'To YOU?" Tom said.

"They'll have to stay here but they'll be safe. Vader's giving Han to that bounty hunter."

"Vader wants us ALL dead," B'Elanna interjected, her voice clear and strong.

Tuvok shook his head. "He doesn't want you at all, he's after somebody called, uh, uh, Skywalker"

"Luke!" B'Elanna exclaimed in dismay.

"Vaders set a trap for him," Tuvok added.

"And we're the bait!" B'Elanna moaned, running a hand through her hair.

"I am sorry." Tuvok said, "This is the best I could do..."

"Yeah, well, I sure am grateful..my...FRIEND!!!" Fuled by a new strength, Tom launched himself at Tuvok, punching him hard even as he was hauled off by the security guards. Tuvok stood back and watched noncommitaly as Tom was once again helped back onto thecot in the corner.

'You sure have a way with people, do you?" B'Elanna commented dryly.

Tom only groaned...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom looked warily at the door to the Captain's ready room. "What's going on..buddy?"

"You're going to be frozen in Carbonite."

"Like hell!!!" Tom yelped, breaking free of his bonds and running into the turbolift, B'Elanna right behind him. 

"Hey!" Tuvok yelled. "Wait for me!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry snuck down the corridors of Voyager, evading the security guards that were trying to take him to sickbay. He looked around the corner and saw Tuvok, Tom, and B'Elanna fleeing from a similair squad of guards.

"Luke, NO! She called, twisting her head back to look at him. "It's a trap!!! A TRAP!" Glacing behind her, she shrieked and kept running.

Harry stepped into the turbolift that Tom and B'Elanna and Tuvok had just vacted and continued on to the bridge, where Chakotay waited for him......

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The force is with you, young Skywalker," Chakotay droned, "But, you are not a Jedi Yet."

They pair locked blades, pressing so had taht Harry fell down on his seat, then scrambled back up as Chakotay's lightsaber missed him by mere inches, slicing through part of the railing behind him.

"You have learned much, young one," Chakotay continued.

"You'll find I'm full of Surprises," Harry shot back.

"Your destiny lies with me, Skywalker."

"No!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have control of your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me!!!"

'Never!"

Harry looked nervously around. One moment Chakotay had been there, the next he was not. He spied an open Jeffries tube and crawled in to find Chakotay in one of the Juctions. hsi rivals Lightsaber snap-hissed on.

Harry's eyes widened as Chakotay began to throw cups of Coffee at him. "aaaaah!!!" he shriked, blocking them with his blade. But sill some hit him. He turned and ran back to the bridge, Chakotay close behind him.

One of the cups hit the viewscreen, cracking a large hole in it. Harry went flying into the air but managed to grab a hold of the deck railing...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom, B'Elanna, and tuvok were still racing through the ship. FInally, they reached the shuttlebay where the Delta Flyer was docked. 

"Let's get outta here!!!" Tom shouted, clamboring aborad, with the others close behind him. They all nodded fervently in agreement as the flyer took off...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Harry watched nervously for Chakotay, and then Jumped up onto his ops console for a beter view as the dark man entered.

"Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan was," Chakotay cautioned, then swept his lightsaber towards Harry, slicing off one of his fingernails.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!" Harry screamed in agony, and fell off his ops console unto the ground.

'Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father."

"He toled me enough. he told me you killed him!"

"No, Harry," Chakotay informed him. "I am your father!"

"No! That's not true! That's impossible!!!" Harry protested, his face twisting.

"Join me. There is no other way."

"Nooooooooooooo!" Harry leapt out the whole in the viewscreen, grabbing one of the port nacelles as he was swept past them.

He closed his eyes in COncentration. "Leia...hear me, Leia..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B'Elanna looked up, a strange expression on her face. " I know hwere Luke is!!!"

Tom looked out the viewport. "Someone's out there!!!"

'I know, it's Luke!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry sat in sickbay nursing a broken fingernail. Tom and B'Elanna were nearby kissing, completely wrapped up in each other. "Don't you guys care about my well being?" He moaned.

The couple looked up for a brief second, then resumed smooching. "It's only a fingernaiil, harry," B'Elanna managed to gasp out between kisses.

The Doctor shook his head. "Doctor to Captain Janeway."

"No one of that name is here of, uh uh!" Came his reply.

"Don't tell me you've been affected too..." He looked around at the antire senior staff, who were quite crowding up sickbay. 'Come down to sickbay at once."

"Sickbay? I have no need for attention medical!!!"

The doctor sighed as he attached his mobile emitter. It was going to be a long day...

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*monkey, monkey, monkey!!!*


End file.
